1. 외교관과 여자의 차이
When a diplomat says yes, he means perhaps; when he says perhaps, he means no; and if he says no, he is not diplomat. When a lady says no, she means perhaps; when she says perhaps, she means yes; and if she says yes, she is not a lady.
* diplomat 외교관, perhaps 아마도
2. 혼돈을 만든 사람
A doctor, an architect and a politician were discussing whose profession was the oldest. The doctor argued that his was the oldest since God performed a surgical operation when he created Eve out of Adam’s rib. The architect claimed that his profession was still older since god, like any architect, in creating the world, made it out of chaos.
‘Yes,’ said the politician, ‘but who do you think made the chaos?’
* archtect 건축가, pfrofession 직업, surgical operation 외과수술, chaos 혼돈(창조전의 우주)
3. 그대가 나와 함께 춤을 출 수 없는 세가지 이유 (실화)
The story is told of a British ambassador nervously attending his first official function in Austria. Hundreds of diplomats and society figures were there: it was a truly magnificent event. The food was exquisitely prepared, rare vintage wines flowed freely, the orchestra played brilliantly. The atmosphere of the occasion was overpowering and he was swept along, forgetting his nerves. He turned to the woman next to him, who was wearing a beautiful red dress encrusted with jewels, and asked her a dance. She declined and gave him three reasons.
‘First,’ she explained, ‘this is a banquet, not a ball. Second, the music you are hearing is the Austrian National Anthem. And third, I am the Cardinal Archbishop of Vienna.’
* ambassador 대사관, decline 정중히 거절하다, banquet 연회, national anthem 국가, cardinal archbishop 대주교추기경
4. 예쁘게 봐주세요
An English lady travelling in Germany left a valuable fur coat in charge of a German woman in the carriage. When she returned, the German was wearing the coat, and said that it belonged to her. The guard tried in vain to discover to which of the two it belonged, and finally sent off to the Consul. The Consul asked to examine the coat, and brought it back a few moments later saying: “This is a very serious affair; whoever the coat belongs to has been smuggling cocaine. Here are the two packets I found in the coat.”
The German woman excused herself and bowed herself out of the room, saying: “Just my little joke.”
The English woman said: “I can’t understand how they could have got there.”
The Consul replied: “Don’t worry, it is only salt, that I put there to find out whose coat it really was.”
* in charge of ~에 맡기다, consul 법관, smuggling cocaine 마약 밀수
5. 영국판 식인종 시리즈
The cannibal’s wife went to the cannibal butcher and said she want to give her husband a treat for the Sunday lunch.
“What,” said the butcher “does he like?”
“He is particularly fond of brains. What have you?”
“We have Missionary’s Brains at 30p a lb.”
“I think we had that at last time,” said the wife.
“Well, we have Seaman’s Brains at 35p a lb.”
“I hear they are rather salty: have you any more?”
“Yes, we have House of Lords’(상원의원) Brains; but they are 90p a lb.”
“This is scandalous,” said the housewife. “30p and 35p yes, but 90p is ridiculous. I shall report you to the Price and Income Board.”
“Please, madam, don’t,” said the butcher. “You’ve no idea the number of Lords we had to kill to get a lb’s worth of brains.”
*cannibal 식인종, butcher 정육점, missionary 선교사, p 펜스, a lb 1파운드(450g), the Price and Income Board 물가안정국, the number of Lords we had to kill to get a lb’s worth of brains 한 근의 뇌를 얻기위해 죽여야 했던 국회의원들의 숫자
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